Friday, December 01, 2006

I am DONE!!! ( and other random thoughts)

I am finished with this semester!!! YAY!!!!! Okay I am done now...on to random thoughts....

A couple of thoughts from school that I wanted to post and just haven't had time...
WHY does there always have to be "that guy" (or girl, in my case it was guy) in EVERY class? You know the one, the guy that asks the most random questions that ALWAYS confuses everyone including the professor. And why does he have to be in almost all of my classes? UGH! At least I don't have to deal with him for at least a month now (ok so I wasn't done yet! hehe)

Why do all the professors ask for papers (LONG papers) and insane finals/tests at the SAME TIME? Well I understand finals, they are constrained by the end of the semester there. But during the semester? No way is THAT required. Oh well I guess it doesn't matter now.........since it is over! :D hehehehehe (Now I am done, promise!)

Now for really random thoughts by Emerald
Why is it that DH MUST play with the dogs at MAXIMUM volume when I am trying to THINK!

Why do I get headaches? I am sure they are meant to signify something. I am blocked in my energy, over-worked, over-tired, over-something. While I am sure one or all of these apply, there seems to be a medical reason as well. DH and I went to the State Fair (I promise this is relavent) and found a booth for a chiropratic college in the area. And they were offering a fair special to get an initial exam and report of findings, so we did it....turns out it was a very good thing I did. DH is basically fine. I, on the other hand, am a freak of nature. Well not really but my necj is very messed up and no one can figure out why! Where I should have a nice little curve in my neck (spine), it is straight...well starting to curve the OTHER way actually. SO that is probably WHY I have headaches, long annoying persistent headaches. And hopefully once they have cracked everything back into place, I won't have them so often.

Ummmmm, I know there were more...apparently my randomness has left me. SIGH Maybe you will blessed with more soon. (I am not going to say anything about being done with this semester...oops :) But now I will at least have more time to write and catch up on here!)

Later days!
Emerald

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Turkey Day!

Hello all! Happy Thanksgiving! Hope this finds you all either stuffed or preparing to be stuffed. I am of the latter. Dinner is almost done and the house smells heavenly. It is just me and DH this year...and of course all of the babies...I haven't updated on the animal front in a while. We currently are up to 5 cats (still just B and Will in the dog department). This outdoor cat that adopted me (I may have mentioned her before) moved in on Labor Day weekend because of a mishap with motor oil and on Tuesday morning, she added 2 more to the clan. Ok, now I will back away from the tangent....

I have been cooking most of the day. Don't get me wrong I haven't been doing THAT much work...but I do have a ham, dressing, greens, deviled eggs and I will making oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. YUMMY!

As for as the thankful part of today, I am thankful for a lot...for everything I have. DH, my babies, my friends, my health, my family, everything. Okay enough of the sappy stuff....

Besides it is time to go back to watching the Cowboys game!!!! And dinner is ready!

Later days!
Emerald

Saturday, November 04, 2006

So I didn't make it back...

Okay guys! Sorry I didn't make it back on Samhain...I was furiously typing a paper that I had to finish and then I was with my group pouring all of my energy into my feast. Anyway...Hope everyone had a beautiful holiday and are enjoying the fall weather.

I haven't had a training/weight stuff update in a while so...I am up to running a 5k (that's 3.1 miles!). And I actually run the whole thing. (Just in case I never mentioned it before the most I have ever ran at one time is the length of a basketball court!) DH and I are riding about 25 miles on the road bikes. I have been slacking a bit these past few weeks, school (as I mentioned before) has been a bit demanding. I am down to a size 14 (started at 22) pants! :D Yippee!

Well unfortunately it is time to work on yet another paper... Later days!

Monday, October 30, 2006

What a life...

Busy, busy, busy...that is what my life is right now. I have wanted to post something for the past couple of weeks but actually have not had the time to type it all out. I don't really have the time now ( I am supposed to be preparing for a test that will occur at 12:30) I have determined that my teachers are all working together to make my and my fellow students' lives living HELLS! I swear they all make everything due at the same time! I am working on THREE papers and I already mentioned the test. Arrrrggghhhh!

Okay enough complaining....

SO Halloween is tomorrow. To all us Pagans it is called Samhain (pronounced Sah-wen). And it is our new year. I am hoping to have a post tomorrow that is more indepth. For right now, just remember to thank the Goddess and God for all the blessings in your life. Light a candle to guide the way for the spirits that will move through the veil (it also celebrates the God who will be transforming back to a child in the womb of the Mother, preparing for his return in Spring). And get together with your closest friends and celebrate!

Now back to my reglarly sceduled- over-scheduled life!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

So that is what happens when your brain goes on vacation...

You lose it...your brain, in the middle of a vitally important test. What you knew 2 seconds ago just isn't there anymore, gone to where ever that good-for-nothing-storage-device-thing has gone. Bermuda, perhaps? The Bahamas? Maybe some nice cozy little inn in the Scottish Highlands? I don't know but that ungrateful lump decided to run...right when I needed her BADLY!!!!

That is what happened to me last night (obviously in class). What I knew was no longer there...my brain just stopped working. I am sure I wrote something horribly wrong and turned it in, went home and went to bed...But it is all a haze. Now I believe that haze was the fog that filled the spot where my brain was supposed to reside...its futile attempt to leave a wisp of itself there so I could slightly function while she went where ever she went. Unfortunately she forgot the leave the information for the test! Sigh...Maybe she will at least bring back a souvenir for me.

The moral of this story...be nice to your brain, he or she CAN leave when they feel like it, and leave you to flounder in your own uselessness!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Exhaustion and Ritual

School can bring on steady exhaustion all on its own. Now add a twice a day workout schedule, looming 5k race, general household duties and a group that needs to meet...and you have my point of exhaustion. Not that I complaining...okay well maybe I am a little. The thing is that this type of exhaustion I actually like. It means I am blessed with the pursuit of education, I am bettering myself and my health, and I have a life and friends. So I am okay with this exhaustion...and if anything the part from school will eventually be over (at least for a little while).

I realized I hadn't really posted anything spiritual lately. And isn't that just the way it goes? I am constantly mindful of my internal dialogue with the Gods and Goddesses, my prayers and conversations with them are ongoing. But sometimes there is just not enough time in the day for "practice." The thing is I think They understand that, They realize that I have school (They surely realize that that is usually what I am discussing with Them anyway!), They realize sometimes you just have to vacuum the floor, pick up the dishes, clean the litter boxes...

I believe it is the internal dialogue that is most important. The acknowledgment that They are a force in your life. That you can talk to them about anything, just like a best friend that will listen to you rant about some random thing, that is what They are. The practice part is important too...Ritual is part and long has been part of human life. Think about it...what did you do this morning? The same thing you did yesterday morning, or the morning before, or the morning before that? Exactly! We all have our little rituals, things we do the same way every time. Ever eat an Oreo? Or in the shower, do you shampoo, condition then wash, or wash then shampoo? Is there a well worn pattern in your day? There is your ritual...it may not be spiritual...but why can't it be?

I guess what I am getting at is find something that you can do in your everyday that is a ritual to whoever your higher power is. I can turn my vacuuming into a cleansing ritual for my home, remove the physical clutter along with the psychic clutter. Turn making my lunch into a prayer of gratitude that I have food to make my lunch. Instead of focusing on what I can't do (fit in a full circle, incense, candles and spells), I can focus on what I can do and what I can turn into a ritual.

So it doesn't matter that I am exhausted or that I "don't have time," I do have time I just have to change the way I think of time and how I use it. So go out there, find your ritual and make it spiritual.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

And, yet, there are miles left to go...

After spending the last three weeks or so, raving about the beauty of a road bike, DH finally asked for one. And OF course I wasn't going to say no! Now he could easily join me on my long ride days. Little did I know that he would push the meaning of a "long ride."

Yesterday, we head to the bike store, get him all fitted out, add all the gadgets and head home to hit the road. We plan on a relatively short ride around the neighborhoods to let him get used to the new steed...so out we go with the intention of riding about 12 miles and at 6pm that would be pushing the darkness limits of our non-night-safe steeds.

We hit the neighborhoods that have nice long streets where you can get good speed and steady cadence (for the non-cyclist, that is the name for peddling). We get to the end of those and DH shouts, "Take a left up here, I want to see what's back there!" Words I will live to despise!

To make a long, tortuous story short, at 9:15 pm and 27 miles later we pull into our driveway; tired, hungry and VERY giddy. I pushed all of my limits and DH pushed most of my buttons (even though he wasn't trying too). I had started the ride (including my prep, i.e. eating, water supply, carry-on food, for it) on the aforementioned criterion and with the very clear fact that riding after dark was NOT to happen.

I was pushed to the max and quite honestly beyond. But now I know that I can find my way home, in the dark. And fix a chain, in the dark. Cross bridges on a bike, in the dark (btw, have a mentioned my insane fear of bridges before?). Successfully hold a panic attack at bay, in the dark. And NOT throw my DH over the bridge guardrails, in the dark! :)

The point of my choice to do a tri and change my lifestyle was to push my limits and find myself and inner strength. (And maybe, just a little, to prove someone wrong and that I CAN do anything I want!) Last night proved that I am definitely on that track. And that it may be a long journey and there are miles left to go...but I am here to tell you this story. I survived this time and I will survive the next. If for any reason, then to prove to someone, somewhere (myself included) absolutely WRONG!

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Life, School and A New Bike

Hello all! I know it has been a bit since I wrote, but school is back in full swing. I am taking 18 hours this semester and one of the 6 classes is a Masters level class. Yes I know I am insane! I am back to not working again. DH is ready for me to get out of school and understands that me working=MUCH longer before that happens. SO he is sucking it up and paying for everything!

My training is going great. I am starting to see the effects of weight lifting, cycling class, swimming and walking. I have muscles! Granted they are still under a layer of blubber but they are starting to show! (And I know the blubber is on its way out.) I am shooting for the YMCA Athens Sprint Tri in March. It shouldn't be a problem as long as I keep up what I have been doing.

DH and I have also signed up for the State Fair 5K in September. I am not sure that I will be able to run the whole thing, but hey you gotta start somewhere. I think DH is in it just for the t-shirt! hehehe

And now for the BIG news of the weekend! I HAVE A ROAD BIKE! Woohoo! Brand new too! Specialized WSD Dolce (WSD=Women's Specific Design for all you non-bike ppl out there) She is SWWWEEEET! Silver and Black with a touch of pink :) I will probably be adding aero bars eventually, but right now I am just getting used to the feel of those skinny little wheels. I mean after riding a mountain bike with big ol' gripping tires that can run over almost anything...these tires are the equivalent of going from skates to rollerblades. Slightly easier to balance though! lol

Anyway, I hope to be able to keep you all up to date and add a few of my rants in here and there over the semester. I just want to let you know that if I don't post for a while...well it is because my head is stuck in a book, or my feet are poundin the street, or I'm in a pool, or on a bike, or I am just so tired from all of that, that I am PASSED OUT! lol

Later days!
Emerald

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Coddling our kids

Okay...I don't have kids, but I did have a childhood that I survived...and as a well-balanced adult, I would like to think. What is this about? Well you see it is like this...I usually joke about how we survived childhood. We had metal everything from car seats to swingsets. We played catch with anything...including rocks. Our playgrounds were covered in whatever material was the cheapest for whoever built the darn thing.

These days, everything is child-proofed, plastic, soft, round-cornered, padded...in short protected. Now FIRST let me say I am not advocating not protecting our kids. I think most of this stuff is great! They prevent some stupid things from happening, but only some. Kids will find a way to get stuck, hurt, bonked in the head or break something...it is a fact of life! No matter how safe we adults make it for them. And when you think about it, it is pretty amazing we do survive childhood, no matter how safe or unsafe our environment.

Now for my REAL RANT! I just read a story on CNN about "Should we let our kids feel stung?" (http://www.cnn.com/2006/HEALTH/08/08/parenting.protecting.ap/index.html there is the link for ya) For you guys that don't feel like cutting and pasting and read yet more words, here is a summary for you. It is talking about kids being rejected by their peers and if we as adults should or should not allow this to happen. (i.e. inviting the whole class to a b-day party or giving trophies to everyone who participates instead of just the winning team)

DUMB, STUPID, OVER-PROTECTIVE!!!!!!! OF course, kids need to understand rejection and losing. WHY the H*LL should I give the losing t-ball team a trophy?!?!?!??!?!?!?! We are so concerned about raising balanced, happy kids that we are creating basketcases! Think about it...all my childhood I am told that I am the best no matter what I do, I get a ribbon or trophy for anything and everything. Sure I have great self-esteem....UNTIL I leave home and move into the REAL world. Here my boss doesn't care about my self-esteem...if I am on the losing "team" I get fired. And I just can't understand why!

Now I am not saying be mean to the kids but teach them how to accept life. Let them feel rejection, let them know that sometimes we lose, sometimes you have to rely on others to help you gain your goals and unfortunately sometimes the team will still fail. You know...let them learn the lessons that team sports are supposed teach.

And as to the birthday party issue, if you don't to invite everyone in the class MAIL THE FRIGGIN' INVITES! Don't send your kid with them to school! DUH! And there is NO WAY you should have to invite the entire class, unless of course you want to and can afford the expense! Every kid deserves a b-day party, but they are expensive and even more so when you have to invite 30+ kids.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Update on my Addict

Back a couple of months ago, I wrote about my DH and his desire or decision to stop drinking. I figured I would give you a bit of an update. First off, Time...that is the answer to most of the questions I had in that post. As time has passed, he and we have got better; less bitchy, less cranky and yes we are back to pre-beer fight levels. LOL I mean back to normal for us at least.

It seems that the mountain biking has helped us both. It is something we both like to do. And conquering an obstacle or climb is a great way to blow off steam and the need for a drink. The other thing it does is fill up the evening hours. SO where before he could dwell on the lack of beer now he doesn't have as much time to think about it. I am not saying that he doesn't think about it at all.

So for anyone out there who is dealing with quitting or has someone close that is quitting...hang in there. It will get better, and slowly but surely the desire for the alcohol will lessen. Find a hobby, don't dwell on what you can't have...just get out there and grab what you CAN have since you aren't carrying this alcoholic burden anymore!

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Call me Crazy

Because that is what I am! I have decided that I am going to take this whole exercise thing to the next level...I am going to train for a triathlon! Yes, you did read that right. I am getting a dietician to help with my food and maybe a coach...and I am literally off to the races!

Just for a little background here. I didn't take PE in High School...in fact I intentionally found a way around it, ROTC. It counted as a PE credit because we occasionally marched. :) In Jr. High, I was on the basketball team, so I guess you could say that was athletic...until I explain I was the token white girl and saw about as much floor time as a...well...as a bad player on a good team sees! lol So you can see my athletic past is bad to say the least.

But here I stand on the brink of jumping over the line...and actually doing this. I am waiting for a reply from my possible coach (possible because I am not sure I can afford him!) to set me up with some test he wants me to do (metabolic something or other, to see how efficient my body us at burning fuel...I mean food.) and to get me the name of my dietician.

So now the trick becomes...balance. I must bablance training, DH and my babies, my friends, school and my religion. Sigh...what the heck...I have already juggled everything else what is one more thing! :)

Here we go!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Hotness...but not the good kind

Good Grief! This weather has got to GO! Why can't we have Global Freezing? I think I would rather that than all this heat and drought! BLECK!

It is over a 102 degrees (at least) today. And there is no end in sight! Now to add to the heat, we have drought. Which sucks all by itself, but here is the DFW area we have a lovely algae that grows in the summer that makes our water smell like...well, quite frankly...it smells like the bottom of the pond, CRAP! And the drought makes this particular algae grow even more. Bottled water, here I come!

Ok, complaint over. Now for the update, well a brief one anyway. One of my summer classes is done and I have one test left in the second one, then I will be done til the middle of August! :) Biking is awesome, and keeps getting more awesome! I have managed to stop falling in poison ivy (knock on wood, non-poisonous wood) and I am starting to conquer things that I didn't think I ever would! Still got to get over my log fear. (Riding over them is lets say an issue for me!) DH is traveling alot, so I am having plenty of time to catch up on everything. SO hopefully that will translate into more writing time. :)

Well that is about it for now...I am off to bask in the AC of my office!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Itchy, Scratchy and a New Bike

I got a new bike. And then I got poison ivy.

Okay, what do these two things have in common? Well I wasn't used to the new bike...so I fell off of said bike into a convenient bed of poison ivy. Fun, yes I know. According to everyone else, it is not too bad. I have never had poison ivy (piv from here on out) before, so apparently this never ending itch that you are not allowed to scratch is a "mild" case.

Now for those of you who have had this dreaded piv rash, I am sure you know of the millions of "Get rid of it quick!" products out there. Have you found any that work? I haven't. I found one the promised to stop the itch and dry it up...it has successfully dried my skin around it and made it itch more. Then there is the calamine/anti itch mix...it left me pink with a hard muddy coating and STILL itching! So far the only thing that seems to have worked is time and long sleeves/pants (YES in July!) to prevent direct scratching...however, I have determined rubbing is okay! :D

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Busy, busy

Most people think of summer as relaxing time...vacation, laid back easy going...All I have to say is "YEAH RIGHT!"

I want to post to let whoever may be reading this know that I am still breathing, albeit heavily. I have gone back to my old job just for the summer and of course I mentioned the classes I take...the group I started...the house I run...oh yeah and I have decided to start mountian biking with DH. That is fun...actually too fun, becasue that is all we want to do now. I guess what they say about exercise and once you get started is true. In fact, I am on my way out the office door now to go hit the trails by my home. YIPPPPPEEEEEE!

So I am still alive, I will post again, I just have to find a topic and time!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The benefits of cramming your brain full of stuff...I mean, information

Yesterday was the second time my two summer classes met. And I am already behind and I have a headache! These classes are 8 week long, meet two days a week for 3 hours at a time. So at the end of Mondays and Wednesdays for the next 8 weeks my brain will be crammed full of knowledge that I will be required to regurgitate on the listed test days.

The surprising thing is...my brain actually retains this information! Well let me qualify that, it retains some of the information. The proof I have of this...I did virtually the same thing last semester...longer session but three times the classes...and of those classes one was a "pre-quel" to one for this summer. Where is the proof of information retention? Oh that would be in the fact that I could understand the book we are reading (which requires understanding the information from the last class). SO see information retained!

So where does that put me and all those other students out there that feel their brains starting to reach max capacity? The odd feeling of an inevitable explosion? Well, nowhere near a solution to the explosion problem....but at least we can revel in the idea that maybe....just maybe we will acquire some useful information that will stay with us................as long as our heads don't explode.

If the explosion does occur, we can take comfort in the fact that the information we lost will no longer be needed. :-)

Thursday, May 25, 2006

The Pain of Loss

Losing a loved-one or a friend is hard...even if it is a small furry one. Rocko passed away on Friday the 19th. I haven't written anything because it is fresh...too fresh in my mind. But today I realized that writing this out may just help.

The poor boy started having seizures on Thursday Night. He was racked with them for 5 to 10 minutes, then he stopped breathing for a bit. Then his body started to try fight and survive. I decided that I would let him try to go peacefully at home. But the next day he was seizing again and I knew I couldn't put him through anymore. DH took him to the Vet and....well you can fill in the blank.

I had a funeral ritual for him that night. And celebrated his life with us. Remembering all the funny little things he would do. But in the end I realized that now he is with his sister whom he loved dearly, Kiki. She passed away a couple of years ago. But now they are together in the Summerland...and I am sure they are snuggled up together, snoring! lol

I miss my children that are no longer with me. But I am a better person since I had them in my life.

PS And yes writing this out has helped. Rocko, I miss you! I love you and Kiki; always will!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Seems to me...

It seems to me that no matter how hard I try not to be a teacher, I ALWAYS end up being one! You see, I was raised by teachers. My mom, grandma, grandpa, uncle, aunt...basically my mother's entire family were and are teachers. My grandpa and uncle worked up to principal, but still teachers nonetheless. Even my DH's family has multiple teachers. So both he and I know and understand the struggles our teachers go through and the horrible pay they receive.

So that is part of my problem with teaching...but the other part is I just don't WANT to do it! As far as teaching in a school, there are too many federal interruptions. You don't teach the kids, you teach the test. And how exactly does THAT give us educated citizens? It doesn't. It just gives us automatons that all know the least amount required by the federal standards. That is why we have no great minds...we don't let them exist. We are TOO caught up in equality and that causes us to flat line our great minds. All of this obviously only applies to the education system...

But there are other types of teaching. And while I have managed to stay out of the "system" as a teacher, I still manage to be a teacher! While in high school, I was the leader of the flute and piccolo line (as lame as that sounds) in the marching band. There I found myself teaching younger players how to march. Then after that I managed to escape teaching for a while, then I found myself as the head trainer at a restaurant! Again teaching. Then I escaped that...only to land a job at a florist shop teaching them how to use the computer system (I had been raised using it so I knew it like the back of my hand!). That was followed by a stint as a swim teacher...that was REALLY teaching. I taught kids from 6 months & up to swim. Yes, it was great fun...right up til I found out I am allergic to chlorine!

But that job taught me something...the harder you run from something; the faster it will catch you. By George you might even like it when it does! I loved that job, those kids...yes even the trouble ones! I would still be there today if it weren't for the horrible rash and the sick feeling I get from being in the chlorine too long. So with that job I accepted that maybe teaching was something I was meant to do. Don't get me wrong...I am NOT going to go teach in the school systems! Remember I am a Government Major...I know how effed up our school systems are.

But I am no longer denying part of myself. I am a teacher, I was raised by teachers, I have it in my blood.

All of this ties back to my "New Beginnings" post...there I said I was starting a group. Well it seems my group may be growing. And I am the teacher...

I think the most important thing in all of this is I learned to embrace myself for who I am, even if my ego tells me I don't want to be that. And I learned to NEVER stop learning...that is the only true way to teach.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Life with an addict...trying to stop

Bless him! My DH has finally decided to stop drinking. And while I am terribly proud of him and trying to support him any way I can. He is a GROUCH! And he is driving me crazy! I would say he is driving me to drink, but I can't drink in front of him, of course!

It doesn't help that I am hard-headed and stubborn...and so is he! So we butt heads at the best of times. So can you imagine in the worst of times? Yeah it is like the Clash of the Titans. Violent yelling storms, chilly silences, icy stares...and ABSOLUTELY NO PROGRESS! Well other than we usually end up feeling worse than when we started and both needing a drink that we can't have more than ever. Overall, it sucks!

So what I want to know is, how do people deal with this? Is the person that stops drinking going to be bitchy forever? Or is it a temporary thing? Or is it a personality trait that had been hidden by the beer? I guess I will see...eventually.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Drama...in all its wonderful forms

Ahhh...the joys of drama. But what would life be without it? BORING!!!!

Lets talk about Will and B...B (that's the Jack Russell Terrorist) was being her usual terrorist self yesterday. She was trying to hoard all of the toys to herself. Well Will managed to nip one away...B gives chase...nips at the toy and accidentally nips Will instead. Needless to say, Will turned B into a living rag doll. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKkkkkkkkkkkkkkk! When Will let go, B put on her best Scarlett O'Hara act. Whining, crying, hiding behind me (once I ran outside, DH was already out there and had witnessed the whole thing). Will instantly turned to mush in the corner of the yard...she knew she was in trouble!

I took B inside and gave her a bath (cause she had been REALLY scared even if she was playing it up a bit). Found no blood, just a couple of bruises or at least soon-to-be bruises. Checked her bones (used to work at a vet so I can do the once over-thing I am trained...but if you are not PLEASE take your injured animal to the vet ASAP), made her walk, and while she limped a bit...she was still in tact. So first thing this morning we head to the vet. She is fine...she received antibiotics and pain meds for the bruising.

As for Will, she is still playing Wounded Will. She is trying to sit in my DH's lap, which is the height of comedy because she is 60 pounds and steps in all the wrong places! I know I shouldn't laugh...but HAHAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahHAHAHAHAHAHhHAHAHAHHA! She walks with her head down and stares at us with big brown eyes, trying to say "I'm sorry." So she has a bit of the Scarlett streak too.

So there you have my drama from last night. And all I can say is that my life is anything but BORING!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

New beginnings

Well, here we go. My first witchy post. I warned you that they would show up sooner or later. As I believe I said before (I am too lazy to go check right now) I am Pagan. Earth-based, polytheist religion. I have been for 8 years now. (So all those with hopes of converting me turn back now! I am not a convertible!) Anyway, over this time I have had starts and stops, rapid growth and slow contemplation. Basically, I have had the turning of the wheel present in my life. The Goddess and God have blessed me with growth, time to heal and growth some more. Much like a field that lays fallow for a while will produce the next crop better, I have been cycled a few times.

I am currently in another cycle. One that seems to just have started, one I find VERY exciting. I have been told to start a learning circle. A book club for witches if you will. A safe place for my sisters and brothers to come and discuss the books we read; as well as, their own life and growth. A place for affirmation, love and hope.

I believe this is an important aspect of anyone's life...But I know how hard it is to find like-minded people. And even when you do, it is difficult not to think "I can't say that, they will think I am crazy!" I didn't have anyone to even think that about when I first started out. Much less, someone I could share the new feelings and first "tingle" of Magic with...I was very lonely and usually ended up questioning myself. But over time I figured out that I was not crazy and the "things" I felt were real. But that took a long time.

After I finally settled into my life and power, I finally did find someone. A very good friend who is helping me start this group, one of the charter members I guess you could say. She calls me her mentor, teacher and friend. I am happy to hold each of these titles to her...and I am ready to take on the role of teacher to the ones who will eventually join this group. But in actuality, she is my teacher too. She shows me that I am not insane, that I have more to learn. She sees in me a teacher and a mentor and in seeing that she has created me into just that. And now thanks to her I get to move forward into a new beginning, a new time of growth.

So to my friend I raise my glass and say "To new beginnings, May we grow together!"

Friday, April 28, 2006

I want to post something...

I have been having a hard time posting. I have started two posts and not published them. I have something I want to say but I can't get it out of my brain in a sensible way. So for the loyal readers I don't yet have, I promise something new will go up soon. I just have to get past the block I got going on.

As an update, Will and B are doing great! Stiches came out today and my girls are back to normal. But let me just give you a mental picture here...the vet said to keep their activity limited. For those of you with a Jack Russell Terrorist (that would be B), you may laugh your a** off now...limit the activity of a JRT, is my vet INSANE???? Now for the mental picture part...me and my hubby piled up on a pallet in the living room floor! That is what we did to keep the pups grounded. You would think a huge gash with stiches would have kept them from jumping...nope not my girls! They were trying to jump onto our 4 foot high king size bed the MOMENT they arrived home! Thus the pallet in the living room. Anyway, now is all back to normal. We have gotten back into our nice comfy bed and the girls no longer have those pestering, itchy stiches. And the best part...I have thrown the doggie diapers out the door!

Now I promise to get rid of the writer's block and get something going here. Time to go spray my "Block-Be-Gone" See ya soon!

Emerald

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

As Bob Barker would say...

Okay, okay...Bob Barker has always kinda creeped me out, but his patient reminder of "Spay or Neuter your pet!" is on my mind this morning. My boys (the cats, Tigg and Raff, nicknames you know) are neutered have been for sometime now. But this morning I had to drop the girls (the dogs, Will and B...yes those are nicknames, too!) at the vet's office. It was a long time coming, I should have had Mr. Barker's request done earlier. (And no I don't make it a habit to take advice from creepy men on tv.)But I always managed to put it off...

You see I used to work at a vet clinic (I know why didn't I get them "fixed" then). I have seen the surgery. I have taken care of the pups that have had it. I know they get pain meds, they are asleep through the surgery; in short, they get all the comforts we (humans) get when we get chopped up. I guess it comes down to I had the vague hope that I could have babies...well I guess it would be Will and B actually HAVING them. But I wanted puppies! Now my hopes are being surgerically cut out and thrown in the trash.

But I am okay with that. I wanted puppies...BUT then I realized I couldn't keep them after they had grown up...not a chance that I could have that many dogs running around. Hell, I almost have too many animals as it is! So my girls are going under the knife, and I am worried sick. But I know in my heart it will be okay. Besides there are a million benefits to them being spayed...the biggest one...................................NO MORE DOGGIE DIAPERS! I hate it when I am "in heat" but I hate it even more when Will and B are.

So the moral of the story today is don't forget to get your animals spayed or neutered...unless of course you want a million puppies and kitties running around your house!

No, seriously, there are too many animals out there without homes or people to love them. Why would we want to add more to the list? I may joke that I want puppies...but when it is time for me to have another, I am heading to the pound, ASPCA or a rescue group in the area. Let's make the list shorter, not longer.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

The Joys of Reality...TV that is

TV...one of my favorite pasttimes...well at least it is a way to get the hell away from homework! On that note...I LOVE FOOD NETWORK! Actually I love to cook, thus the love of cooking shows because they teach me cool tricks and let me find new foods to try. But I now believe that reality TV has gone TOO far! The Next Food Network Star needs to go away! I know that it is necassary to find the next star, but do I HAVE to be involved in this PAINFUL process? And it never fails with me and reality TV, I am disappointed. Unfortunately, I turn on the TV, reality show is on, and...I get sucked in! Then the one person I like and think "Oh they would be okay!" gets kicked off and the weirdos are left! Ughhhhhh! Not that I couldn't find one that I would RATHER have...doesn't really matter I won't watch their new show anyway. At that time I will change to whatever my Tivo has recorded for me.

And now for two...

Write...that is what I said I was going to do. So here we go.

Maybe I should give you a bit of an idea of who I am. First I am married. No kids...well no human kids. I have 5 kids with fur. 2 dogs (Lab and Jack Russell, both girls), 2 Cats (boys), and 1 ferret (also a boy)...yes a ferret! I go to school. I am a "non-traditional" student, meaning I am older than most of the students there. (Not that much older though! Comes down to I didn't know what I want to do, so I waited around til I did) What I wanted to do turns out to have something to do with government. Or at least that is what my BA will be in. I figure eventually I will work for an interest group.

Now just to give you fair warning...I will have political talk here. Everyone has to vent sometimes, right? And in further interest of warning, I am Pagan--that means I am a believer in Earth-based, polytheistic, ancient knowledge. If you want more info, stick around...I will most likely end up sharing some. If I don't and you still want to know more, try a search engine or a library. I am a firm believer in figuring things out for yourself...but PLEASE be smart about it. There is a lot of BS out there, if it don't sound right, it might not be. Find more sources, compare facts, make up your own mind.

On that note, it is late. And it is time for me to take the pups and head to bed. Dear Hubby (aka DH) is already there and snoring...yes he snores and yes I still love him! :)

Later

Monday, April 17, 2006

So here is the first...

Okay, what do you put as your first post? Who I am? What I stand for? What I want this to be?

Nope, too standard for me! Well I am not sure of the answers anyway. The plan is to write...just that. See what I come up with and how often I do. So if you hang around you will probably figure me out (but if you do can you let me in on the secret?).