Life is good...

Right now, everything is great! DH is doing fine on his meds (he figured out he can drink the non-alcoholic beer to curb the taste cravings). I LOVE my job...of course that won't be the case for much longer, but I am happy that the gentleman I have been subbing for is getting better. I wouldn't wish what he has gone through on my worst enemy. Besides the fact that this will pretty much secure a position for me in the district...in fact the teachers I am working with have been begging me to try to find a way to take the 8-12 science cert so I can be there next year! :) That makes me happy. And the icing on the cake...the kids don't want me to leave! That makes me feel good.

Now to my nice warm snuggly bed...and sleep!
Later-
Em

Not so bad...

Well, DH has been doing good...and it really isn't so bad. However, that could be because I have been spending all my time either at school or grading papers or being otherwise engaged with school...this is slightly crazy that I am loving this so much! I spend my time being frustrated, tired and vaguely annoyed...but I love it.

I really do...because there are SO many little things that make it all worth it. Like today when a student said "I don't think I want you to leave." Or when I apparently made the day of a student simply by telling her she could remove her shoes in class (it had rained that day and her socks and shoes were soaked). Or when a student asked me if I had had a good day and then proceeded to tell off the most annoying kid in the class by saying "she is having a good day, don't go and screw it up!" (I had to laugh at that one!)

Who would have guessed that the one the one thing I had been attempting to run fast and furious away from all my life would be the one thing that would make me the happiest.

GO figure!

Later days,
Em

And the first pill is taken...

Well DH started the meds today. I don't remember what they are called but they will make him sick if he has any alcohol what-so-ever, even alcohol in a sauce can make him sick. It doesn't take away the cravings or the crappy mood that he will be in for the next month or so. So here we go...

Now I remember...

why I loved high school. Friday nights. Granted I lived in Louisiana for my high school time, but I was in the band and LOVED every minute of it, even if our team was not so good...

But now I am in the Friday Night state of Texas. And now that I am subbing long term and my kids (yes I am calling them mine for now) were begging me to come to the game, I went...more to watch the band than the game, but I know remember exactly how much I loved Friday nights. There is just something about the air in a football arena, and the turn to fall that you get to be a part of when you are sitting in that stadium. The crisp fall air can only feel exactly like that when you are surrounded by people that are excited and the lights are blinding and the team runs on to the field to the fight song. Sure it can feel nice at other times, but it is different.

Long live Friday Night High School Football!

Night,
Em

Why am I typing at 6:40 am?

I don't know...but I haven't been writing here much lately and I haven't really been journaling much lately either...so I am guessing this feeling I am having is from not doing either. I recently realized that I am getting into long conversations when long conversations are needed. I guess my psyche is trying to compensate for not getting things out. So here we go.

I really, really, really love teaching. And I really, really, really want my own room. While I am perfectly happy helping out the teacher that I am subbing for, it is still their room with their stuff, their bulletin boards, their layouts. See the thing is even though I am a sub, I really want these kids to do well...and no I don't know why I care so much. And I even care that much about the ones that don't.

Second, DH is maybe actually quitting drinking. He even went so far as to talk to the doctor and get the medicine that makes you sick if you drink. Unfortunately, though it does not help with the withdrawal symptoms and I am not wanting to deal with him in withdrawal. I will. But it doesn't mean I have to like being treated like dirt and getting snapped at and the general disagreeableness of a man without a drink for a month until he gets out of it.

I also have learned not to get my hopes up. He always does good for 4 or 5 months then something happens. Sometimes it is something big and obvious, sometimes it is something most of us would barely even notice, but either way it is read by DH as catastrophic, must have drink. And off we go again. So I ain't holding my breath, but we will see and hope...a little, that it sticks this time.

Anyway, sorry for the generally depressing post. But I am a generally depressed mood...I promise to come and tell you about the chickens and other fun, happy stuff when the rain lets up.

Later,
Em

Okay...so...

That weekend of writing never came around...it was horribly blockaded by a mad dash to remember all things Biology so that I could teach kids biology without screwing them up completely.

I have gotten a semi-permanent subbing position so it involves actual teaching, which is awesome but highly time consuming. But at least I am getting great experience and great references. So anyway that is why I haven't been writing...

Now back to my regularly scheduled cram session!

Later,
Em