Almost there...

Well guys, I know I have been terribly quiet lately. But I swear it is for a good cause! And I am ALMOST DONE!!! One more paper (which is 2/3's done) and then I am finished! YAY!!!!

I just thought I would stop in and give a bit of an update and some random stuff that has piled up while I have been kicking @ss.

First the family has grown...by three. Three chicks...literally chicks as in baby chickens. In our attempt to be more organic and my attempt at being a gardener, we have decided that chickens would be a great benefit. They (all are female) will lay eggs for us, eat the pesties that my organic attempts at pesticide don't get and they will provide ample fodder for my compost pile. And they up the cute factor in the family too. (If someone could tell me how to post a damn picture on here I would share the cuteness.) They are all little Southern ladies, with the names to match. There is an Orphington Buff named Henrietta (couldn't pass that up!), a Production Red named Scarlett (get it? she is red) and a Barred Rock named Georgette (that means "earth worker" fits for a chicken that is responsible for taring up the yard!). It will be about 6 months before we get our first eggs, but after they start laying we should get about a dozen and a half a week. Any one got any good egg recipes? :)

Okay lets see, what else? Oh I have found a great singer!!! Regina Spektor. She rocks and she has a cool history too. Her music is very funky alternative, with great lyrics and piano, and cool vocals. And she happens to be perfect to study too! LOL Of course now I figure that out.

On to gardening, my bumper crops are still bumping. My sweet basil has managed to recover from whatever it was that was ailing it (I think it was the cold snap...remember when it SNOWED on Easter) and my nasturtiums have started to bloom. Peaches are big enough that I can see them on the tree from across the yard...I can't wait to taste them! YUMMY! I have planted my first two garden boxes, with blackberries and purple potatoes (for those of you that are rolling your eyes right now, yes I have to have everything in purple...and they were the best looking of the seed potatoes available). I am planning on a total of 8 boxes but I have to finish building them...that will be for next week...actually starting Monday at noon!

As far as my group is...well it hasn't been much lately. We have all been involved in life (I am assuming that for the ones I haven't heard from, hope all is well) and obviously I have put most, scratch that, all of my stuff on the back burner until I am done with school. So we haven't gotten together of late.

Well that is all my hands can handle for the typing...gotta save some for later too! :)

Later days!
Em

Quiet=Graduate

I have been so busy! I am trying to graduate...may have mentioned that once or twice before. :) But that requires writing a 30 to 40 page paper that is due (in first draft form) on Friday...yes the one that is currently barrelling towards us at a very disturbing pace. Also in the mean time I have found a love for gardening and yard work, and unfortunately it is MUCH more alluring than old dusty books about the democratization of Eastern Europe.

So far, I have managed a thriving (never thought I would be able to use that word in relation to me and gardening) bed of impatiens, an ever growing bed of culinary and tea herbs, four pots of different types of mint, a pot of tomatoes that have started to bud, a pot of jalapenos, three indoor potted plants and a brand new peach tree! More is on the way! Heck I might even figure out how to post pics on here and let you see what I have done. DH has helped a lot too...in fact he was the main force behind getting and digging the huge hole required for planting the peach tree. And more is on the way...I am planning a garden in the backyard.

The other discovery I have made in gardening (other than I can actually do this) is organic gardening isn't that hard nor does it mean that you have to live with bad little pesties. Compost does ALOT, you can use a mixture of compost called compost tea and mix with things like molasses or citrus oil and get rid of a number of gross little pesties that like to munch on plants. You also get to release fun bugs like praying mantis and ladybugs that are able to feast on some of the little beasties as well.

I will try to post the link for my favorite new organic sources in case any one is interested in joining me on this lovely trip to further hippie-dom. :)

Now back to the boring, keep me inside, reading dusty old books paper...that MUST GET DONE so I can get the hell outta here!

So I know I have been quiet lately...

but WOW have I been busy! I am trying to figure out what to do with my life. What direction is best right now for what I want to do down the line, and that ain't no easy figurin'. On top of that is school (last semester), the papers that go along with that, family, the group (YES we will meet soon, even if I must drag you all kicking and screaming), pups and kitties (which I am up to 5 cats now and it will be staying that way, DH has been informed), and all other bits and pieces that can slowly drive one insane.

Now first to what direction I am heading...well the PhD is still the chosen path, however I feel it may be necessary to take a round-about method of getting there. I am afraid that the deadlines have past at the schools I would have preferred and they are all not anywhere near me and we are in no way or shape able to move right now. SOOOOO...the original plan was to go to my current campus for the PhD...but the more I think about that the worse it sounds. There is the problem of academic incest (yes that is a term used by people, and refers to getting all your letters aka degrees from the same school, I didn't know what it was either), which seems to be a bigger issue than first imagined. Then there is the issue that my school doesn't offer exactly what I want...so no sense in fighting though to get something I don't want, right?

So now for the round-about part...I am thinking of getting my teacher's cert and teaching high school...yes I am insane...and no so far no one has laughed at this idea...at least to my face. Okay so take a second to catch your breathe...

My logic is this. This gives me a way to make money, gain teaching experience, and allows for DH to be able to go back to get his masters...at which point he gets a job in the field he WANTS to be in and then I can pick my school and back for the PhD...of course this also gives us time to get to a position of being able to be mobile across the nation, which in turn gives me the school I want and program I need. It does sound like a win-win-win...right? And I did say I was going to stop running from being a teacher.

Okay, so with that out...here is some more randomness...

Yes, I now have 5 cats. Tigg and Raff, whom I have spoke of before, And the new 3. Baby, Punkin, and Candy. I believe I may have previously referenced them with a promise to fill you in so here I go.

Baby (mom of the other two) adopted me. She carefully pushed her way into my heart and brought a few litters of kittens along with her. I raised them (the litters) and then did the only thing I could do, took them to the ASPCA. Then this past Labor Day (this is ironic, you will see in a minute) Baby came to me covered in motor oil! So I took her inside and gave her 4 baths (and yes she let me) and decided that since I had her in and I had the money, I was going to take her to the vet on Tuesday (it being labor Day and all the vet wasn't in on Monday). Sooooo....I call on Tuesday morning make the appointment, go check on Baby and here is the ironic part, she was in labor! Two kittens, a cancelled appointment and a few months later...I have 5 cats, inside co-existing happily. And as I said DH has been informed that this house will remain so. :) Everyone is spayed or neutered, so no more kitties for us (thank the Goddess). But I am happy with my home now. It is perfectly full again. (And easier to take care of than the last time I had this many...cause now it is only the cats' litter boxes to clean, rather than cat, ferret and bird...that was work!)

Okay so I am thinking that I have rambled on and bored you all quite enough.

Later days-
Em

Weddings are fun...

especially when you have the most incompetent wedding coordinator in Florida.

Well I am back from my weekend jaunt to Flordia for my best friend's wedding. It was great! She and I spent the majority of our time giggling and laughing and reliving old times, which was my ploy to keep her unstressed. (Which apparently I did very well, I have never had so many people tell me what a great job I did...and I didn't even think I was working!)

The unfortunate wedding coordinator didn't even sour our moods. We managed to turn her and her incompetence into a great series of jokes that will be remembered forever. All I will say is if you ever plan to marry in Pensacola, DO NOT USE THE INCLUDED WEDDING COORDINATOR! It would be worth the money to get someone else!

Now that I am back, it is time to get on schedule. The tri I was shooting for is full so my first tri is going to be a little further into the season, but that is okay. I want a little more time to train, seeing as how I have been in the slacker category for the past couple of weeks. School really gets in the way sometimes, you know?

And it all comes together in the end...

Well I have finished the paper that is due this afternoon and have an introduction for the one for tomorrow. YAY! And I even got to sleep some! Imagine that...

Now it is time for a short break and a few updates. First, have mentioned this is my last semester...then I move into Grad School torture. If I haven't now I have. But this leads me to the first topic...Graduation. Why is it that this idea freaks me out so thoroughly. It is not like anything is going to change really, I am planning on staying at the same college, I will be living in the same place. Still be around my friends and family but somehow graduation is freaking me out! *sigh* Probably has something to do with this craziness I call my brain.

Next, my training seems to have ground to a halt. At first, I had that neck issue/injury. Then, well I just haven't gotten going again. Between the weather, school and the random freak outs (see above), I just haven't gotten moving again. I am still getting my Yoga classes and home practices in, which is good. Yoga is the one thing that actually helps the freak outs go away, something about the breathing. If you remember to breathe, you don't tend to hyperventilate as easily.

Finally, I get to go to my best-friend-from-high-school's wedding this weekend. In fact I am in it. I am very excited about being able to go see her and meet her soon-to-be-hubby. DH got my ticket (round trip) for $5! (Plus a lot of frequent flier miles, but hey it still just $5!) So I will get to see my friend for the cost of a value meal! Don't ya just love bargains!

Anyway, back to that second paper I go. Hopefully all freak outs will remain at bay until it is finished! *crossing fingers*

Again with the procrastination...

Yes I am up to it again. But this time I am trying to get my brain to get moving. I have been staring at the computer for the last 3 hours and I have the grand total of one paragraph actually saved. Although I have typed the equivalent of about 3 pages and deleted it...too soapbox-y.

Anyway, now I am trying that whole "just start writing" thing. But since I don't want to delete yet more words, I am putting them here. So if this randomly moves off to the politics of motherhood or an examination of judicial intervention in war powers you should understand. Count yourself as warned.

The thing that sucks monkey balls is that I have the answers in my head, really they are there, but they refuse to be transmitted to a medium that is acceptable to my teachers as an assignment. I think they would be slightly frightened if I turned in a small portion of my brains and said "There, it is all in there. And apparently political science DOES require brain surgery! What is my name again?"

Ah the joys of the wild and crazy thoughts that my brain harbors. Believe me it is a scary place, my brain. One second it is making perfect sense then the next it is contemplating the joys of jazzerise and if we should try it out. Or some other strange something...as Lorelai Gilmore says "monkey, monkey, underpants." Yes, my brain is a strange place indeed.

Have you ever...

had something to do, say a paper or papers for school, that you just did not want to do so you found every possible way to procrastinate?

Well I am a master at the aforementioned dilemma. In fact this is one of my ingenious ways to avoid working on aforementioned papers. I have got to work on these papers, unfortunately I find contemplating the universe and all the stupidity within it much more important.

Pain hurts

Okay I know that is...well...it is what it is. But it is true.

There is physical pain. A pain in the neck or arm or leg. I am specifically experiencing a combination of neck and shoulder pain. It is driving me batty and severely limiting my training for the upcoming triathalon. But I am dealing with it and I will get though it...before the race! But physical pain is almost easy compared to its sibling...

Emotional pain.

My great uncle recently passed away. In fact I leave tomorrow to go to his funeral. And while I truly believe he is in a better place and is no longer experiencing ANY pain, the emotional pain left behind with my great aunt is hard and heavy.

My great uncle was a very strong, caring, loving man. He was like a second grandfather to me (well I guess third if you are counting both sides of the family, either way he was special). My great aunt, I am afraid, is carrying the worst of the emotional pain. Because she was the one with him all the time, she was the one who had to watch daily as this great big loving man slowly lost his mind and then his body. In his death, I see release for him, peace and a place where he is whole again. But in his death, I also see the pain in my great aunt's eyes from losing the one and only love of her life. That is why it is the emotional pain that is the worst.

My shoulder will heal and fairly soon as long as I don't do anything stupid. But my aunt's pain is not so easy a wound to fix. She can't just put a salve on the cut, or take an aspirin for the ache. She has her son, her family, her friends. But we cannot expect to take the place of a big strong and sometimes grumpy old man who would sit in his chair and threaten to "throw us in the pond," and laugh like that was the best joke in the world.

We love you, Daddy R! And will miss you. I am glad you are in a better place. And you better be good or I am sure someone there will throw you in the pond!

Tigg, the snaggle-toothed cat

Well that is that. Tigg lost the tooth. Rather it was cut out by the vet. It was so infected the vet had to fill it with antibiotics and stitch it up. He is resting now and enjoying all the soft food he can stuff himself with, so all is well. I feel slightly better now that Tigg is doing better.

Note to self: Check all my babies' mouths REGULARLY!

Update

My advisor still sucks...still screwed up...but at least did try to fix it. But no go...I am not going to get my minor. Oh well. This means I get to drop one of my classes now and have more time for my research.

Which I must get back to now! :)

Later days!

Sometimes I feel like a horrible mommy

*sigh* My poor old boy, Tigg, has a very badly infected tooth...like to the point that the gums are moving down the tooth and the tooth itself is very soft. And I only found it today! And of course the vet wasn't going to be there this afternoon. SO my poor baby has to wait until Monday. Poor guy! I feel so bad for him, I know it hurts. Thank the Goddess that I have been feeding everybody soft food lately...or he would not have been able to eat at all! :(

Ahh the joys of life

The crack sound my back makes at the chiropractor's office.

A voice mail from my DH wondering if I am okay, because I was running late after a workout.

A new pair of running shoes, all shiny, white and begging to be dirty!

B's reaction when I return home...no matter how long I have been gone, to her it has been FOREVER!

A new gadget that will hold my iPod as I drive...that DH got for a steal on eBay after I mentioned I wanted one.

Will's reaction after I get home...much like B's but a little more dignified.

A perfect cup of tea...any flavor will do but cinnamon is my current favorite.

The sound of kittens playing (yes I have added to the clan or rather it grew, remind me and I will fill you in later!)

A hot shower.

Chocolate scented soap and lotion (for in and after that hot shower)

A warm cozy blanket in front of a fire...it helps if the blanket is feather stuffed and purple (my favorite color).

The feeling you get from running 3 miles on a really cold day...the reactions from others are pretty cool too! :)

Okay now don't get used to this...

Wow I have really been updating a fair amount lately, BUT I am not promising it will continue. I will try though.

Well, DH and I had a wonderful dinner for my birthday. I had grilled lamb chops and he had sole with a lobster sauce. YUM!

Anyway now I am on full tri training. Wanna know how you know if you are on true full tri training? You go for a 3 mile run in the FREEZING cold and have to avoid icy patches on the road so you don't fall and blow the season before it even starts!

Tomorrow I am getting up to swim (yes, swim but in an indoor pool) at 5:30 am...then go to class then go to yoga for an hour tomorrow night. Yoga is actually the "easy" workout.

I am back to eating all the time. But all the right stuff, you have to fuel those workouts. They each burn about 600 calories, now you see why I eat all the time.

I am not sure if I ever posted where I started. The highest I ever weighed on the scale was 255 BUT I was bigger than that, I just didn't want to see where I really was so I started losing then weighed a few weeks into it. And I am currently down to 215 and down 4 pants sizes. I am pretty proud of me. I didn't even feel guilty about eating my b-day cake...I knew I would burn it off quickly. :)

Well I best hit the sack, so I will be able to stand/swim in the morning.

Later days
Emerald

Crappy weather sucks!

It is my birthday and the Gods remembered! :) They like sending crappy weather to me on my birthday, They think it is fun! lol

Actually it isn't too bad because now I get to go to a nice restaurant nearby (that I wouldn't have thought of had I not been distance-restrained) and then curl up with DH and the pups in front of a fire! YAY! :) I am sure the cats will join in too if it fits their schedule!

SO I am off to get dressed for dinner. We are going early so we don't get stuck out too late. Late+Rain+Cold+Stupid Texas Drivers= VERY BAD

Then when we get home I get to have birthday cake that my friend's very sweet mom made for me. It is PURPLE (my favorite color) and it has a fudge icing FILLING! Not to mention the ever so yummy creamy icing on top! YUM! And just so you all know...Birthday cake has exactly NO calories and NO fat! lol

Later days!
Emerald

Advisors DO NOT advise...

...they screw up your life! (Okay, maybe not my whole life, but certainly a part of it!) I am speaking of college advisors. Today I found out that what I had figured out class-wise was RIGHT! My advisor was looking at a wrong copy of my classes completed list!

First let me say this is only concerning my minor...I CAN still graduate just not with credit for the extra work I have done! No Minor for me! Or I can delay my graduation until the summer for ONE FREAKIN CLASS (again in my minor).

SO how important is a minor? Not very is what most will say. But in my case, I feel it is important. I already have enough hours to get almost TWO degrees so I would at least like the minor! The problem is all those "extra" hours are in varied fields. History was the only one I was close to the minor requirements that is why I went that way! Now I am not going to get the DAMN THING! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Okay rant complete.

Seen on Campus

The best use ever for a head scarf:
as a "hands-free" cell phone holder. Just slide the top of the phone between ear and scarf, allowing the microphone of the phone to angle towards the cheek and mouth! Then viola! You have a hands free phone without the added cost of bluetooth!

Here we go again!

ss the First I realize that just the other day I said DH was back to his old tricks again and he was and had been for a while. However, he informed me two days ago (while solidly in the state of drunkenness) that that was it, no mas! That night was to be his last hoo-rah (again). So now two days later I have found that it wasn't the alcohol talking, DH did mean he who as quitting again.(So I guess that the "don't do anything" approach worked?)

I am VERY happy about this and think it will be great for him. BUT now we get to go through bitchy-boy again! Can you guess why I am hold up in my room typing this? :/ Yeap! Bitchy-boy is back with a vengeance. In fact I am contemplating a dinner alone with my new school books.

Just thought you might want to know. :)

Later days!

Am I insane? Yes, yes I am!

Who in their right mind gets up at 4:30 in the morning to workout? That's right NO ONE! However, in my insane mind it makes perfect sense (however, my body is disagreeing at the current moment). I have started back on my full triathlon-training schedule. Except now I have a tri club that I have joined and yes they work out at 5:30 am at my gym (hence the 4:30 reveille for me, gotta drive there).

The thing that is MASSIVELY surprising is the fact that honestly it isn't that bad. I am able to get things done before going to class and so when I get home I can actually have time to do "me" stuff and talk to DH instead of running around like a crazy person trying to straighten up the house or get to the grocery or whatever. Now I do these things in the wee hours of the morning, when no one (in my household) is awake...well except for maybe the cats but they don't tend to be too active after a night of clawing, prowling, and general destruction of the house.

The other benefit is that by the time I do go to bed at night (where I am about to head) I fall asleep...FAST. Something about being awake and burning a solid 600 to 700 calories first thing in the morning does something to you...like wear you the F@*# OUT! Head hits pillow I AM OUT! I have been told that my body will eventually get use to this idea of gettin up and at'em...it currently is putting up a fight and refusing that this will EVER occur but I plan to keep on it. IT WILL BEND TO MY WILL..........................................................................hopefully.

Ok so its been awhile...

Sorry about that! I really did intend to update a bit more over the break that is now almost over. I do have a good reason though...my break wasn't nearly as uneventful as planned. For those of you who have been reading for a while (or for some reason was bored enough to go read the archives) you know that DH is an alcoholic and for a while he was not drinking. Well that is not the case now. He is back full force, I think worse, but he says he isn't. Anyway, I have been trying to figure out what to do. And tonight I discovered an interesting website that suggested that I do nothing.

Let me qualify that a bit. More that I should wait for him to want to do something and love him, not judge him in the mean time. The love part is not hard at all, because I do love him with all my heart. And I don't judge him for drinking, I understand that this is a disease over which he has no control. He is sick. It is the waiting for him to want to do something about it that is VERY difficult for me. If you are sick you go to the doctor, right? He is a very smart man, why can't he just go to the doctor?

The other part of the eventful and heart-breaking break was that my grandmother was diagnosed with a third type of cancer. She has had breast cancer and uterine cancer, and on Christmas day she went to the hospital with a blockage that the doctors thought was caused by the radiation for the uterine cancer. But it wasn't. It was colo-rectal cancer. They did surgery and believe that they got it all, but we are still waiting on the test results.

So all of this brings me to religion. (Just keep reading it will make sense in a minute, promise.)

Religious people usually pray when something happens. They pray for healing, for understanding of why something is happening, for strength to get through, for strength to handle what happens next. Praying happens in many ways; an unspoken plea, a lighted candle, a spell, mediation. I, like the rest of my family, have been doing a lot of praying lately. For good doctors, for good outcomes, for strength for me, the doctors, my family. And in this I have come to a conclusion? Realization? Epiphany?

I think there is a reason to pain and suffering. We need it. There is a reason why my grandmother, who is a devout Christian and NEVER second guesses what God may have planned, has had now 3 types of cancer and why she continues to survive and have faith. There is a reason my grandfather (also devout Christian) doesn't let her see him cry at the pain she suffers. And there is a reason that I continue to love a very broken and sick man.

Pain makes us question our beliefs. Suffering or watching someone we love suffer has a way of either strengthening our faith or challenging it. I am not saying that suffering is fun, it MOST definitely is NOT! I am just saying it is necessary. For some it tears their belief system to shreds, for others it makes it stronger; either way there is a chance to reevaluate beliefs, verify them. In a way this is the answer to the prayer for strength. It is that whole "be careful what you wish for" thing at work, so always remember to word your request wisely.

I am DONE!!! ( and other random thoughts)

I am finished with this semester!!! YAY!!!!! Okay I am done now...on to random thoughts....

A couple of thoughts from school that I wanted to post and just haven't had time...
WHY does there always have to be "that guy" (or girl, in my case it was guy) in EVERY class? You know the one, the guy that asks the most random questions that ALWAYS confuses everyone including the professor. And why does he have to be in almost all of my classes? UGH! At least I don't have to deal with him for at least a month now (ok so I wasn't done yet! hehe)

Why do all the professors ask for papers (LONG papers) and insane finals/tests at the SAME TIME? Well I understand finals, they are constrained by the end of the semester there. But during the semester? No way is THAT required. Oh well I guess it doesn't matter now.........since it is over! :D hehehehehe (Now I am done, promise!)

Now for really random thoughts by Emerald
Why is it that DH MUST play with the dogs at MAXIMUM volume when I am trying to THINK!

Why do I get headaches? I am sure they are meant to signify something. I am blocked in my energy, over-worked, over-tired, over-something. While I am sure one or all of these apply, there seems to be a medical reason as well. DH and I went to the State Fair (I promise this is relavent) and found a booth for a chiropratic college in the area. And they were offering a fair special to get an initial exam and report of findings, so we did it....turns out it was a very good thing I did. DH is basically fine. I, on the other hand, am a freak of nature. Well not really but my necj is very messed up and no one can figure out why! Where I should have a nice little curve in my neck (spine), it is straight...well starting to curve the OTHER way actually. SO that is probably WHY I have headaches, long annoying persistent headaches. And hopefully once they have cracked everything back into place, I won't have them so often.

Ummmmm, I know there were more...apparently my randomness has left me. SIGH Maybe you will blessed with more soon. (I am not going to say anything about being done with this semester...oops :) But now I will at least have more time to write and catch up on here!)

Later days!
Emerald