Working=New Toy!!!

I got a new camera!!!! A digital SLR! For those non-photographers those are the big cameras with changeable lens. DH and I are going to New York City tomorrow and since he had dropped my digital point and shoot (P&S) a few months ago, he told me I could get a new digital camera for the trip.

SO I go to the store and call him like this is how much the P&S ones are...and he response is "Oh, I thought you wanted the SLR digital."

At which I quickly responded, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I CAN GET ONE OF THOSE!!!"

"Well, it doesn't make since to get something lesser if you want the SLR."

"Yeah, I do want the SLR but it is 3 or 4 times more expensive."

"Yeah, well, Happy 'You got a f^@&in job'!"

So a few hundred dollars later, I have a digital SLR! And now I can have all the control I want AND be able to see if I got the shot without waiting for film!

Now if only I can figure out how to post the damn pics! :)

Why the H#!! can't we talk to people anymore!!!

Why is EVERYTHING online/recorded phone system/other automated devices? Why can't we talk to another person?

I know there is a slight irony in me ranting about this on a blog. However, there is no pressing need that someone discuss this with me, there is no immediate need that a person be on the other end. However, when there is a job involved or immediate need to find out something about say your bank account, there REALLY should be a person on the other end of the phone!

Okay that is my rant...I am stepping off the soapbox now.

Slowly going insane...

All this free time is KILLING ME! I am tired of not having anything to do...and I actually WANT a job. The only good thing about all this free time is that I have had time to start learning Latin, teach myself Calculus (the one subject that killed my GPA) and work on my teaching stuff that is online. Today, in fact, I had a proper "school" day for myself.

It started with a nice healthy brain-builder of a breakfast. Then a calculus lesson, then a Latin lesson (I can now say "The mule walks in the woods. The mule does not like the woods." and other relatively useless phrases about mules and the woods). Then I moved on to a philosophy reading, then a piano lesson. Yes, as you can see I am bored.

The best thing I can say about all of this is that all of these things are things I want to learn and will prove useful when I go back to get my PhD. We (DH and I that is) have decided to give it a year on the moving. For one really basic reason, we can't afford it right now. But a minor secondary reason is that I have to finish my teaching program or pay for it anyway. So it is best to just go on through it.

So for now, I am staying put and desperately seeking a teaching position (as well as STILL waiting for the results of my first cert test).

Hitting "enlarge" again...

A few weeks ago, while studying for my teacher's certification exam (which I took this past Saturday and won't have any clue of how I did for THREE weeks!) I found myself hitting the enlarge the font shortcut on my keyboard...like three or four times! So I decided it was time to stop playing around and get my butt to the optometrist. I have had ( and tried to get away without wearing) glasses since I was about 14. And it had been about three years since I last went to the doc and about two years since I had worn the glasses I had gotten then. (Not good I know)

So off I went...I thought "Oh it won't be too bad. Probably just need something to help when I am reading, that is all!" YEAH RIGHT! Turns out I am blind...not as blind as a bat...but blinder than I thought I was. The thing is that my left eye doesn't see very well so my right eye takes over (thus why I think I can see okay)...then the right eye tires out and...viola! I am hitting the "enlarge" button again.

So the doc provides me with a prescription that is actually less than the one I need...cause, in his words, "[I] would hate [him] if [he] gave [me] what [I] really needed." Basically, I would never return to his bright shiny office of things that tell me my eyes suck!

So I traipse off the the Eyemaster's next door and purchase my shiny new specs. And then proceed to gradually incorporate them into daily constant wear. Surprisingly, I can see sharp edges again!

But over the past few nights I have found myself hitting the "enlarge" button. (He told me this might happen.) It looks like I will be going by way of my mother...and have a separate pair of... {cringe} Reading Glasses. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh well, I guess this is what I get after years of reading into the wee hours of the morning. And if I wish to continue my beloved past time, it appears that I am going to have to get over the fact that I am turning very solidly into my mother...at least the doc isn't suggesting bifocals...yet.

Just when...

Just when I am getting happy with where I am and what I am doing, DH goes and throws a curve ball.

For the past few months, we have been discussing what we will be doing for the next few years. You know general couple discussions. Well, we had come to the conclusion that I should go through getting my teacher's certification and teach in grade school for a few years before I go back to get my PhD. I want to get my PhD in Philosophy and ultimately teach at a college. This was to accomplish the goal of getting rid of the debt I had built in school the first time around and get rid of the little of "regular" debt we have as well before I throw myself into yet another four years of school. So that is what I have wrapped my head around...I have gotten excited about having a classroom full of pre-teens hopefully ready to learn.

Then, DH's curve ball...He has been traveling for work for the past three weeks (to the corporate office) and has been getting the usual joking, picking and ragging about not living there. So he calls me the other night and starts in on the university that is near the office. Does it have the program I want? Would I want to go there? Would I be willing to go with him next week and meet with people there? And he actually says, when I mention the debt and the fact that we had decided I should work for a while to help get rid of it, "I don't care, I just want you to either work or be in school, either way." WHAT!!! The money man, that one that has been bitchin' about debt and money, is saying that I can go to school instead of making more money????

All of that is great, don't get me wrong. I REALLY want to go back school, that is why I want to be a teacher, well really a college professor, because that is the only way that I get to be a student forever. And I want nothing more than to get on with the school...but I had stopped looking at schools, stopped looking at class listings, stopped looking at the things I want to learn...and I started learning what is needed for classroom teaching and put my desires away for a while.

Basically, I did this to keep myself sane. If I had continued looking at class listings, it would have made me crazy. Proof of what I could be doing, or things that I should be learning, just general excitement to me :) that would push me over the edge, while I was biding my time to get to go back to the good ol' college campus. But now, DH calls me and begs me to go to the college site and see if what they have is what I want...Sigh...I am back to yearning to be in a classroom...a college classroom...and to be learning.

And all of this is happening three days before I have to take a test for my certification...:( I am sure that DH will get back here and realize that it isn't feasible to move right now in this market and with the debt that we have, and I will be back to practical. Which is fine, and it is still on the path to where I want to go, it will just take a little longer to get there. But now I have to come back down from the contact high that I get from a college course catalog.

Remodeling is fun! And VERY hard!

So I have spent the past four days with my mom remodeling my kitchen...well taking off the multiple layers of wallpaper and painting. Sounds simple, right? Well you would be wrong...what we thought would be a simple 2 day job turned into a four day expedition, or a 4-trip to Home Depot job. Whichever you choose to call it.

We started off thinking we would just take down the wallpaper (that we thought was only two layers thick) and then paint and be through...nope. There were six layers of wallpaper and some of them were painted (which proved harder to remove in some places). Then there was a hideous mirror, a la 1970's trailer style, that had to come down, but it managed to pull the sheetrock's paper almost completely off, leaving nice bubble spots that had to be spackled. And I am not saying a typical spackle spot...I mean an entire 4x8 foot area of the wall! But it is all finally done and I spent today cleaning and reorganizing the kitchen and it finally looks like MY kitchen! We have lived here for 6 years and finally the kitchen (were I spend most of my time) looks like me!

It now has yellow walls (and I mean yellow, like a lemon) and this really cool back splash. It looks like the old time-y pressed tin panels but it is plastic, so very easy to clean! Mom spotted it on one of the many trips to Home Depot and it is PERFECT! I love it. I am very lucky Mom came along to help with all of this because I would have never gotten it done...and we would be living on take out forever! :)

Getting used to alone

So it is the Fourth of July...at 8:55pm and I am at home with the babies...alone. Thats right, no bbq, no fireworks, no nothing. DH is out doing a fire watch for a fireworks show with his radio guys (oh he has a new hobby of HAM radio). So you ask why the hell aren't you there with him? Well that is just it, I could be there but not with him...you have to be in the group to go and stand that close to where things might fall on your head. So I could have gone and fought the crowds ALONE...and that makes you feel that much more alone. So here I sit. I am planning a nice little spa night with a brand new Joss Stone cd. (BTW, she ROCKS!)

All of this is to say that I am getting used to being alone. It gives you time to think. And in my case, study and HOPE for a nice middle school teaching position. The thing that is mildly disturbing is the fact that I am alone in a house with a DH right there. How the hell are you alone when there is another human right there? Almost all the time. That is very disturbing, how the hell did we get here...in the same house yet alone. It is sad.

To add to this, I have lost myself...at least my religion. I am actually considering putting away my altar. Not getting rid of it, just putting away the stuff for a while. I am still pagan, but I just don't want the stuff right now. I guess I need to be alone.

Well...

I am soooo sorry that I have gone into complete hiding as of late. After graduation, I have been lost in what to do, and have ended up not doing much at all. I have succeeded in getting accepted into a alternative teaching certification program and I have decided to teach 6-8 grade, reading/English, history or social studies (depending on what I get hired to do). And that is pretty much it.

I have been hanging out, getting a butt load of reading done. I have found The Teaching Company and its extensive array of DVD lectures that have provided learning and entertainment. And YES I did say learning...I miss school. A LOT. More than I thought was possible. The books I have been reading have been philosophy stuff (as well as some "fun" stuff too). But I think the philosophy is fun and interesting. And it has given me a lot of reflecting to do, and a lot of questioning too. And that is probably why I haven't been here much.

It is hard to think this stuff out, much less write it out. I have tried talking it out, thinking it out, dreaming it out, and writing it out...and none has made anything any clearer. But I think that is the way it is supposed to go. Read something, think about it, see where it fits within your beliefs or if it even does fit, and if it doesn't is it something you want to add to your beliefs. Will this change your beliefs? Will your beliefs hold up to what you add? If they don't are they really worth it?

So there you go. That is a peak into what is going on in my brain, and it is just a peak...a full view would lead even the sane-ist of people to the way of madness. And I don't want to be held responsible to adding to the crazies of the world.

I promise to try and be better about keeping you filled in.

Later days,
E

Quiet=Graduate

I have been so busy! I am trying to graduate...may have mentioned that once or twice before. :) But that requires writing a 30 to 40 page paper that is due (in first draft form) on Friday...yes the one that is currently barrelling towards us at a very disturbing pace. Also in the mean time I have found a love for gardening and yard work, and unfortunately it is MUCH more alluring than old dusty books about the democratization of Eastern Europe.

So far, I have managed a thriving (never thought I would be able to use that word in relation to me and gardening) bed of impatiens, an ever growing bed of culinary and tea herbs, four pots of different types of mint, a pot of tomatoes that have started to bud, a pot of jalapenos, three indoor potted plants and a brand new peach tree! More is on the way! Heck I might even figure out how to post pics on here and let you see what I have done. DH has helped a lot too...in fact he was the main force behind getting and digging the huge hole required for planting the peach tree. And more is on the way...I am planning a garden in the backyard.

The other discovery I have made in gardening (other than I can actually do this) is organic gardening isn't that hard nor does it mean that you have to live with bad little pesties. Compost does ALOT, you can use a mixture of compost called compost tea and mix with things like molasses or citrus oil and get rid of a number of gross little pesties that like to munch on plants. You also get to release fun bugs like praying mantis and ladybugs that are able to feast on some of the little beasties as well.

I will try to post the link for my favorite new organic sources in case any one is interested in joining me on this lovely trip to further hippie-dom. :)

Now back to the boring, keep me inside, reading dusty old books paper...that MUST GET DONE so I can get the hell outta here!

So I know I have been quiet lately...

but WOW have I been busy! I am trying to figure out what to do with my life. What direction is best right now for what I want to do down the line, and that ain't no easy figurin'. On top of that is school (last semester), the papers that go along with that, family, the group (YES we will meet soon, even if I must drag you all kicking and screaming), pups and kitties (which I am up to 5 cats now and it will be staying that way, DH has been informed), and all other bits and pieces that can slowly drive one insane.

Now first to what direction I am heading...well the PhD is still the chosen path, however I feel it may be necessary to take a round-about method of getting there. I am afraid that the deadlines have past at the schools I would have preferred and they are all not anywhere near me and we are in no way or shape able to move right now. SOOOOO...the original plan was to go to my current campus for the PhD...but the more I think about that the worse it sounds. There is the problem of academic incest (yes that is a term used by people, and refers to getting all your letters aka degrees from the same school, I didn't know what it was either), which seems to be a bigger issue than first imagined. Then there is the issue that my school doesn't offer exactly what I want...so no sense in fighting though to get something I don't want, right?

So now for the round-about part...I am thinking of getting my teacher's cert and teaching high school...yes I am insane...and no so far no one has laughed at this idea...at least to my face. Okay so take a second to catch your breathe...

My logic is this. This gives me a way to make money, gain teaching experience, and allows for DH to be able to go back to get his masters...at which point he gets a job in the field he WANTS to be in and then I can pick my school and back for the PhD...of course this also gives us time to get to a position of being able to be mobile across the nation, which in turn gives me the school I want and program I need. It does sound like a win-win-win...right? And I did say I was going to stop running from being a teacher.

Okay, so with that out...here is some more randomness...

Yes, I now have 5 cats. Tigg and Raff, whom I have spoke of before, And the new 3. Baby, Punkin, and Candy. I believe I may have previously referenced them with a promise to fill you in so here I go.

Baby (mom of the other two) adopted me. She carefully pushed her way into my heart and brought a few litters of kittens along with her. I raised them (the litters) and then did the only thing I could do, took them to the ASPCA. Then this past Labor Day (this is ironic, you will see in a minute) Baby came to me covered in motor oil! So I took her inside and gave her 4 baths (and yes she let me) and decided that since I had her in and I had the money, I was going to take her to the vet on Tuesday (it being labor Day and all the vet wasn't in on Monday). Sooooo....I call on Tuesday morning make the appointment, go check on Baby and here is the ironic part, she was in labor! Two kittens, a cancelled appointment and a few months later...I have 5 cats, inside co-existing happily. And as I said DH has been informed that this house will remain so. :) Everyone is spayed or neutered, so no more kitties for us (thank the Goddess). But I am happy with my home now. It is perfectly full again. (And easier to take care of than the last time I had this many...cause now it is only the cats' litter boxes to clean, rather than cat, ferret and bird...that was work!)

Okay so I am thinking that I have rambled on and bored you all quite enough.

Later days-
Em