I know...I have disappeared...but I am coming back into focus.

I am still alive, busy...very busy. There have been many changes, many things I needed to write, to get out. But I just haven't had time. I have had to process things in my own head, without getting them out. And I must say writing is easier.

I love my job, however that proves difficult for other things. When you love a job, you tend to spend a majority of time working. It is very satisfying to work with kids; seeing them understand, learn and grow. I love preparing lessons and following through on them. But other things tend to get pushed aside. No matter how much you try to not let them get pushed aside.

Things like a clean house, or properly exercised pups, or religious practice, or up-kept hobbies all get put aside. I still manage to read a fair amount in bits and pieces of stolen moments. I also make it a point to but audio books on iTunes. And a prayer is easy enough to speak at any moment and I do that often enough. The pups are happy enough to play in the backyard while I work in the garden. The chickens are still laying regularly and have taken to chasing the pups about the yard. Who knew that a chicken could hold a lab at bay?

My DH is...well, just is. He is here with me in body, but I am not sure if he is here in mind. He is fairly unhappy in his job. But he has started taking classes and that has seemed to help some of his restlessness. He is still drinking, even though he takes a medicine that makes him turn a horrible shade of red. The medicine is supposed to prevent him from drinking...but it doesn't.

He is having moments of complete irrationality and it is very difficult to live with them. I am unsure of what to do at those moments. The best thing to do is to leave him alone, but I am afraid to do so, in case of him hurting himself. The other thing is that the aftereffects of these moments are long lasting, up to a week or more. It is making life a bit difficult.

Try as I might, I just don't know how to help. Hell, there are times when I also have these spells of irrationality. I think this is why we get along as well as we do, we are too similar even to the point that our psychosis is alike.

There are many other things that have happened and changed, but would take forever to type out. And there are other things that I refuse to post (even though this is fairly anonymous) out of respect for the bonds that once were, even if severed now. I hope to write more often. Writing is a salve to my mind.

I swear I am still alive...

Really! I promise. I have been busy...no busy is not the right word...swamped! This job is never ending. I am constantly on the search for new ways to accomplish things, ways to help my kids "get it" and now I have two weeks to be sure that they get it enough to pass the stinkin test....you know the BIG test, that every state has. The "Are You Smart Enough to Fill in the Bubbles?" test. I find it a bit crazy that I have to give the lessons in the five senses and then the kids are tested with bubbles, A-E answers. *Sigh*

Anyway, for the general update-
1. Still breathing...barely.
2. Planted the garden! And it is more than peppers and tomatoes this year!
3. The chickens are doing great and I still LOVE the eggs!
4. I love my MOMMY! She came to visit and helped to clean the house...something that had been on the back burner for WAY TOO LONG!
5. My DH is the bestest in the whole wide world. I love this man with every fiber of my being! If it weren't for him I think I may have forgotten how to breathe and I would have died in very dirty clothes! He has been keeping all the laundry done! How awesome!
6. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job! And my kids! And I cannot believe I spent so many years running away from the one thing that I am born to do!

K, I think that is it for now...Back to grading!
Later days,
E

Looks like...

Scarlett is going to be next in the egg laying! She was nesting today and her comb and jowls are getting very red ( I think I had mentioned before, but if not, the comb and jowls getting red is a sign of maturity and getting ready to lay!).

BTW, the eggs that Hen lays everyday are amazing! They are super tasty! I am now a firm believer in the greatness of home raised eggs.

Eggs!!!!

Well, the one of the girls has started laying eggs! The one we thought was the oldest proved us right last week. She has lain one everyday with one exception which apparently is common for a hen to "take a day off" every once in a while.

And they all seem to have fallen into the pattern of egg equals out. So they are all three very vocal about Hen's morning work being done. It is very funny. The three of them stand at the gate of their yard, yelling at me as I walk outside. I can very clearly understand what they are saying, "Hey, Hen's done, there's an egg already. Will you PLEASE GET US THE HELL OUTTA HERE............NOW!!!" They obviously really like running free in the yard, and I let them have the yard for most of the day, since I have started taking Will and B on walks in the afternoons and so they don't need to be able to run around in the back as much.

It has been pretty hot these past few days so DH and I wanted to make sure the hens didn't get too uncomfortable, so we bought them a fan that can move the air in the coop for them, basically enough to keep them from becoming roasted chicken. They did not care for it when we first turned it on (seeing as sounded something akin to a small jet engine taking off), but once they discovered its cooling potential they have allowed it to remain in their presence. They are fully maintaining their "Southern Belle" status.

Gardening and the other past stuff that got left out

In my philosophical ick of last post, I didn't get to update all the other stuff that has happened over this period of silence.

First, gardening. The peaches seem to have bitten the dust. And the garden boxes aren't finished yet. These are both due to the same thing...a weeks worth of very heavy, very total and complete thunderstorms. Not spring showers, spring dumps! The rain, while badly needed, really didn't have to come all at once. Within two days, all the local lakes, ponds and rivers were full and near flood point. Unfortunately my backyard is sometimes classified as a pond. For some reason it holds water. Effectively drowning my peach tree! :( My other plants did well enough, since most are in pots and I could just take them out of the bases to drain through. The garden boxes aren't built because the use of power tools in a pond is not suggested. :) SO hopefully they will get built this week.

DH has to finish the chicken coop so I should be able to get the boxes done at the same time. The girls are getting VERY big, they are almost full grown and are fully feathered now (which they may not be very happy about in this heat). We have discovered they have a love for lettuce, apples, celery and watermelon! Watermelon is by far their favorite, they eat it right down to the skin (they eat the white pith too!). Currently, they are scavenging in the backyard. I just mowed and they like getting all the good bugs I turn up. Worms, YUMMY! :)

In the music world, my friend Serenity Springs listed a new singer on her site AND WOW!!!! I love her for turning me onto Amy Winehouse. This girl is amazing. Especially if you like soul, blues-y, big band stuff. Amy Winehouse has serious vocal power! WOW.

Another discovery another friend put me onto is www.pandora.com. It is this amazing free radio site. You can put in the name of a group or song you like and then it plays music that matches what you put in. It is great for those days you just want to listen to something but not the stuff you have...or if you just want some randomness in your music. Plus it is a great way to discover new music that matches the stuff you really love.

I think my group is pretty much done for...partly because of scheduling. But mostly because of the stuff I talked about last post. A crisis in your beliefs is not conducive to guiding others. I have to find my way again before I can get a group going again.

Well I guess that is about it for now. I am off to the shower...just got done in the yard and I am ICKY!

Later,
Em

Almost there...

Well guys, I know I have been terribly quiet lately. But I swear it is for a good cause! And I am ALMOST DONE!!! One more paper (which is 2/3's done) and then I am finished! YAY!!!!

I just thought I would stop in and give a bit of an update and some random stuff that has piled up while I have been kicking @ss.

First the family has grown...by three. Three chicks...literally chicks as in baby chickens. In our attempt to be more organic and my attempt at being a gardener, we have decided that chickens would be a great benefit. They (all are female) will lay eggs for us, eat the pesties that my organic attempts at pesticide don't get and they will provide ample fodder for my compost pile. And they up the cute factor in the family too. (If someone could tell me how to post a damn picture on here I would share the cuteness.) They are all little Southern ladies, with the names to match. There is an Orphington Buff named Henrietta (couldn't pass that up!), a Production Red named Scarlett (get it? she is red) and a Barred Rock named Georgette (that means "earth worker" fits for a chicken that is responsible for taring up the yard!). It will be about 6 months before we get our first eggs, but after they start laying we should get about a dozen and a half a week. Any one got any good egg recipes? :)

Okay lets see, what else? Oh I have found a great singer!!! Regina Spektor. She rocks and she has a cool history too. Her music is very funky alternative, with great lyrics and piano, and cool vocals. And she happens to be perfect to study too! LOL Of course now I figure that out.

On to gardening, my bumper crops are still bumping. My sweet basil has managed to recover from whatever it was that was ailing it (I think it was the cold snap...remember when it SNOWED on Easter) and my nasturtiums have started to bloom. Peaches are big enough that I can see them on the tree from across the yard...I can't wait to taste them! YUMMY! I have planted my first two garden boxes, with blackberries and purple potatoes (for those of you that are rolling your eyes right now, yes I have to have everything in purple...and they were the best looking of the seed potatoes available). I am planning on a total of 8 boxes but I have to finish building them...that will be for next week...actually starting Monday at noon!

As far as my group is...well it hasn't been much lately. We have all been involved in life (I am assuming that for the ones I haven't heard from, hope all is well) and obviously I have put most, scratch that, all of my stuff on the back burner until I am done with school. So we haven't gotten together of late.

Well that is all my hands can handle for the typing...gotta save some for later too! :)

Later days!
Em