I swear I am still alive...

Really! I promise. I have been busy...no busy is not the right word...swamped! This job is never ending. I am constantly on the search for new ways to accomplish things, ways to help my kids "get it" and now I have two weeks to be sure that they get it enough to pass the stinkin test....you know the BIG test, that every state has. The "Are You Smart Enough to Fill in the Bubbles?" test. I find it a bit crazy that I have to give the lessons in the five senses and then the kids are tested with bubbles, A-E answers. *Sigh*

Anyway, for the general update-
1. Still breathing...barely.
2. Planted the garden! And it is more than peppers and tomatoes this year!
3. The chickens are doing great and I still LOVE the eggs!
4. I love my MOMMY! She came to visit and helped to clean the house...something that had been on the back burner for WAY TOO LONG!
5. My DH is the bestest in the whole wide world. I love this man with every fiber of my being! If it weren't for him I think I may have forgotten how to breathe and I would have died in very dirty clothes! He has been keeping all the laundry done! How awesome!
6. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job! And my kids! And I cannot believe I spent so many years running away from the one thing that I am born to do!

K, I think that is it for now...Back to grading!
Later days,
E

Still not finished processing...

Well in my last post I said I would write more when I finished processing all this...well I am STILL processing! Well, the process has now changed to how the hell am I going to get these kids where they are supposed to be from the very not-good beginning that they had. Some I am seeing progress, others seem to be falling behind, even further behind...and while the fact that the whole class is behind is NOT my fault. I feel like I am failing the kids somehow if I don't get them where they should be.

Yes I know that sounds crazy and I am only two weeks into this gig. And yes I know that everyone knows what happened to them during first semester and what a great improvement most are already showing...I guess you can say it is my perfectionism kicking in. So in order to satisfy that part of me, I am off to modify lesson plans...is it sad that I actually enjoy this?

Later,
Em

PS I GOT AN iPHONE!!!!!!!!! Yippppppppeeeeeeeeee! When I actually get it set up (waiting on getting my old number transferred) I will let you know how completely awesome it is!

Well, I did it!

I have a job...a permanent job! I have my own classroom, my own students, my own job! I am soooo excited. I will be teaching math and science for 6th grade! W00T!

I write more when I get a chance to process all this! My head is currently spinning!

Tried of this...

I am sick and tired of not having my own classroom! I have decided that I do not like "regular' subbing...it is more like babysitting. I understand why teachers leave worksheets and busy work for subs, but I am sick of them. They give me nothing to do but sit and watch the kids work on something they don't want to do and I can't tell them why they have to do it. Sigh.

I REALLY want my own classroom. Hopefully I will have one soon!

Turkey...good

Yummm, there is nothing better than a great turkey dinner. DH roasted a wonderful turkey today. Yes, you read that right...DH made the turkey. I made all the other goodies, but the turkey is what he LOVES to do. He has fried them, stuffed them, and roasted them. But today he outdid himself. He brined and roasted the bird. YUM YUM YUM! The white meat (my favorite) was the juiciest, yummiest, wonderful-est ever! (Yeah I know that last one isn't really a word.)

I added cornbread stuffing, deviled eggs and a buttermilk pie to the feast, and I opened the can for the cranberry. Yes, I know we were void of veggies but we had an 11 pound bird for the two of us. We were already over doing it. Of course, the pups got a turkey dinner too! (Yes, the real thing...they got a plate just like we did! Hey they are family too!)

So now we are plenty stuffed and the pups are passed out...tryptophan is fun! In fact I am relatively surprised that DH and I are still up...though I feel the call of the bed.

Thanks so much...

So the holidays are upon us and I know I haven't been posting much about religion of late, so I would like to take a moment to give thanks for everything I have as well as give you a bit of religion. :)

Let's do religion first. I am still pagan, even though I haven't been "doing" much lately. But I don't believe "doing" is overly necessary. Let me take a moment to define "doing." Doing is ritual, magic with all the props. For the past three or four months, I have not been doing. That does not mean that I haven't prayed, talked to God and Goddess, I have. I have woven my magic without the "stuff," I have spoken my needs and found them filled. I had gotten lost in the "doing," I needed the "being."

My group has fallen by the wayside, not for our lack of wanting the group, but more because of Life. You try it sometime try to get four or five adults, all with families, jobs and other obligations, in the same place at the same time. Maybe one day.

Now for the thanks...

I am grateful for:
my DH and all my babies.
my friends and all their support...You guys' ability to listen to me is amazing! :)
my family.
my health (I have come to understand that my ability to avoid illness may be fairly rare.)
finding my calling.
my students...well the ones that once were "my" students.
the teachers at "my"school and their willingness to help me find a full-time job.

Well time to get the turkey marinating!

Later days,
Em

Sad

I am sad. It was my last day with my long term sub position. I am no longer with my kids. AND I WANT THEM BACK! :) I am awesomely glad that the gentleman I was subbing for is better and back...but that I means I am out...done...finito. And I am sad.

I love these kids, even the weird or/and annoying ones...almost especially those weird and annoying ones. Each one is special, and different, and treasured by me. Not that the actual teacher won't treasure them equally...but for the past few months they were mine. I will see them again...but not everyday, so I am sad.

I will be okay...but for now I am going to live in my sadness.

Later,
Em

Leopard is cooL...and other random thoughts

Mac OS X has a new update called Leopard...now at least I waited a couple of weeks since its release (so that makes me less of a geek, right???) but I got it today! And it is freakin awesome! All of the stuff that annoyed me on Tiger seems to be fixed and some of the extras are friggin cool! Like this thing called Spaces, it makes it like you have as many monitors as you want! You can have one space just for internet stuff, one for a project you are working on, etc., etc., etc. Anyway, I will stop geek-ing out now. :)

There are plenty of other things for me to share with you anyway. First, the guy I have been subbing for has finally gotten better. I am very glad that he is better, but that means I have to go back to "regular" subbing. :( Which really is okay, it's not like I am losing my job. In fact, I have probably gained a full time job in the process. {{fingers crossed}} The thing that has me down is that I have to leave the kids and as much as they can drive me up the wall...I am going to miss them BADLY! At least I can sub at the school and see them then...better than not at all. I may have to ask for visitation rights! LOL

Lets see what else has been going on...

The chickens are doing awesome. WE have had to rig a heat lamp and a white light for them to keep them warm and laying regularly. But we literally have too many eggs! We don't know what to do with them all....so send me your egg recipes! :D

DH is still doing great. He is on track to get back in school. And he is really ramping up the reading! (I am soo proud of him...it used to take him ages to finish a book and now he can finish one in a week.) Better attention span, I guess. He did find out what happens if he drinks while on the meds...and it was not fun. I wasn't there to witness since he was on a business trip, but he admitted he would never do that again.

I guess that is enough for now...I promise to write again soon. And I have some pagan-y stuff to talk about. :)

Later days,
Em

Life is good...

Right now, everything is great! DH is doing fine on his meds (he figured out he can drink the non-alcoholic beer to curb the taste cravings). I LOVE my job...of course that won't be the case for much longer, but I am happy that the gentleman I have been subbing for is getting better. I wouldn't wish what he has gone through on my worst enemy. Besides the fact that this will pretty much secure a position for me in the district...in fact the teachers I am working with have been begging me to try to find a way to take the 8-12 science cert so I can be there next year! :) That makes me happy. And the icing on the cake...the kids don't want me to leave! That makes me feel good.

Now to my nice warm snuggly bed...and sleep!
Later-
Em

Not so bad...

Well, DH has been doing good...and it really isn't so bad. However, that could be because I have been spending all my time either at school or grading papers or being otherwise engaged with school...this is slightly crazy that I am loving this so much! I spend my time being frustrated, tired and vaguely annoyed...but I love it.

I really do...because there are SO many little things that make it all worth it. Like today when a student said "I don't think I want you to leave." Or when I apparently made the day of a student simply by telling her she could remove her shoes in class (it had rained that day and her socks and shoes were soaked). Or when a student asked me if I had had a good day and then proceeded to tell off the most annoying kid in the class by saying "she is having a good day, don't go and screw it up!" (I had to laugh at that one!)

Who would have guessed that the one the one thing I had been attempting to run fast and furious away from all my life would be the one thing that would make me the happiest.

GO figure!

Later days,
Em

And the first pill is taken...

Well DH started the meds today. I don't remember what they are called but they will make him sick if he has any alcohol what-so-ever, even alcohol in a sauce can make him sick. It doesn't take away the cravings or the crappy mood that he will be in for the next month or so. So here we go...

Now I remember...

why I loved high school. Friday nights. Granted I lived in Louisiana for my high school time, but I was in the band and LOVED every minute of it, even if our team was not so good...

But now I am in the Friday Night state of Texas. And now that I am subbing long term and my kids (yes I am calling them mine for now) were begging me to come to the game, I went...more to watch the band than the game, but I know remember exactly how much I loved Friday nights. There is just something about the air in a football arena, and the turn to fall that you get to be a part of when you are sitting in that stadium. The crisp fall air can only feel exactly like that when you are surrounded by people that are excited and the lights are blinding and the team runs on to the field to the fight song. Sure it can feel nice at other times, but it is different.

Long live Friday Night High School Football!

Night,
Em

Why am I typing at 6:40 am?

I don't know...but I haven't been writing here much lately and I haven't really been journaling much lately either...so I am guessing this feeling I am having is from not doing either. I recently realized that I am getting into long conversations when long conversations are needed. I guess my psyche is trying to compensate for not getting things out. So here we go.

I really, really, really love teaching. And I really, really, really want my own room. While I am perfectly happy helping out the teacher that I am subbing for, it is still their room with their stuff, their bulletin boards, their layouts. See the thing is even though I am a sub, I really want these kids to do well...and no I don't know why I care so much. And I even care that much about the ones that don't.

Second, DH is maybe actually quitting drinking. He even went so far as to talk to the doctor and get the medicine that makes you sick if you drink. Unfortunately, though it does not help with the withdrawal symptoms and I am not wanting to deal with him in withdrawal. I will. But it doesn't mean I have to like being treated like dirt and getting snapped at and the general disagreeableness of a man without a drink for a month until he gets out of it.

I also have learned not to get my hopes up. He always does good for 4 or 5 months then something happens. Sometimes it is something big and obvious, sometimes it is something most of us would barely even notice, but either way it is read by DH as catastrophic, must have drink. And off we go again. So I ain't holding my breath, but we will see and hope...a little, that it sticks this time.

Anyway, sorry for the generally depressing post. But I am a generally depressed mood...I promise to come and tell you about the chickens and other fun, happy stuff when the rain lets up.

Later,
Em

Okay...so...

That weekend of writing never came around...it was horribly blockaded by a mad dash to remember all things Biology so that I could teach kids biology without screwing them up completely.

I have gotten a semi-permanent subbing position so it involves actual teaching, which is awesome but highly time consuming. But at least I am getting great experience and great references. So anyway that is why I haven't been writing...

Now back to my regularly scheduled cram session!

Later,
Em

Quick Note

Okay, I know it has been awhile since I posted...and I really do have a lot to write about, but it is one of those things that I have soooo much to say that I am not saying anything. So I plan on sitting down and posting everything very soon. Maybe even this weekend...so here is what to come...

1) The trip to New York (AWESOME!)
2) Teaching Update (And the job search continues)
3) Chickens and Eggs...Lots and lots of eggs
4) The Joys of Chicken discovering how to jump a 6 foot fence
5) Languages are fun! (Teaching myself Latin and refreshing once known Spanish)
6) The Ongoing Saga of DH and his Drinking...this time he has got to stop

And I am sure there is even more that my allergy addled brain can't think of right now...so I will hopefully go get some sleep and then get some of this down soon...

Later,
Em

Working=New Toy!!!

I got a new camera!!!! A digital SLR! For those non-photographers those are the big cameras with changeable lens. DH and I are going to New York City tomorrow and since he had dropped my digital point and shoot (P&S) a few months ago, he told me I could get a new digital camera for the trip.

SO I go to the store and call him like this is how much the P&S ones are...and he response is "Oh, I thought you wanted the SLR digital."

At which I quickly responded, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I CAN GET ONE OF THOSE!!!"

"Well, it doesn't make since to get something lesser if you want the SLR."

"Yeah, I do want the SLR but it is 3 or 4 times more expensive."

"Yeah, well, Happy 'You got a f^@&in job'!"

So a few hundred dollars later, I have a digital SLR! And now I can have all the control I want AND be able to see if I got the shot without waiting for film!

Now if only I can figure out how to post the damn pics! :)

I am the Evil Substitute!

Well, I did it. My first time in a classroom...as a substitute. Not the job I want or need, but a job nonetheless. And experience is always good.

And I did not realize what a valuable tool reading glasses can be. You should try this if you have glasses of any type...slide them towards the end of your nose so you can just see over the rim...now don't you feel hawkish and evil? [evil snicker] Well if you don't, you might not be doing it right...or maybe you need 25 senior students in front of you falling silent. [evil grin] And who knew that every trick in the book is still the same as when I was in High School...I figured it out the kids change, but the ideas all stay the same. Who knew? I guess I figured these kids are more worldly and adult like...but they still use the same ol' "I was just discussing the assignment" when they get caught chatting.

Anyway, I figure the worst is over now. If I can handle Seniors on a Friday before a long weekend....sixth graders should be a snap!

Why the H#!! can't we talk to people anymore!!!

Why is EVERYTHING online/recorded phone system/other automated devices? Why can't we talk to another person?

I know there is a slight irony in me ranting about this on a blog. However, there is no pressing need that someone discuss this with me, there is no immediate need that a person be on the other end. However, when there is a job involved or immediate need to find out something about say your bank account, there REALLY should be a person on the other end of the phone!

Okay that is my rant...I am stepping off the soapbox now.

And now the high wears off...

Well I passed the test, and I am VERY excited about that. But now the high has worn down a little and I am facing the fact that I STILL do not have a job. The school year starts tomorrow for the kids...meaning if I get hired now I will be behind the Eight Ball. That does NOT mean that I don't want to be hired...in fact I think the challenge might be some fun after the daily blah of not having much to do.

But anyway the reason I am here...I NEED A JOB! Please will all of you, my loyal readers, please help me put this need to the universe in whatever form you choose. And please leave a comment for whatever you would like put to the universe and I will help you out...you know fair trade and all that! :) Thanks.

Later days,
Emerald

I DID IT!!!!!!!

I PASSED THE TEST!!!!!!!!!! 278 out of 300! WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO